hsr social media event pt 1

 Have you ever heard of...

social media..?

me neither! but from what I've heard, this event is...

SOCIAL MEDIA!!

what?

IDK!!

I'M JUST GONNA START IT

SIGHH STAR RAIL I WISH YOU DIDN'T CRASH SO MCUH!!

opening star rail...

hi huohuo!

oh no! she almost lost out on her primogem code!!

okay! so, I'm PRETTY SURE this is the event...

game crashed

sigh....

so it begins...

binch.

FRIENDS SPOTTED!!!

oh! well, I'm flattered, truly...

yes! yes you are shangshang!!

NOOO!!! THE SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE LIGHTCONE!!!

sooooooooooooooooo the GHOST BUSTERS!?!?

yippee!!

WOOO!!! SOCIAL MEDIAAAAAAAAAAAA

AN INNOVATIVE NEW THING!!!

sure! btw IS TAIL GONNA COME BACK???

pfffft they didn't want you here for TAIL!!!

HOLY HECK!!!

okay okay, let's analyze what we see here...

I see tags! tumblr moment!?!?! most likely twitter, though.

and the posts themself..? they remind me of reddit? but it's been a long time since I've used that!

oh! wait! there are like numbers and comment numbers, but no reblogs?? or retweets lol

hm! pretty cool website, I guess

WAIT

IS THIS PASED ON HOYOLAB??
ASDOJJSDOAIJWOIj

okay!! it's named after you?

oh! yeah that's odd!!

no cost too great.

I see, I seee...

WHAA??? NOO I WANTED TO SEE THE POSTS!!

pffft

sure!!

okay! let's do it!!! uh, but, we don't want them to be TOO relaxed aroud heliobi.. cuz.. yk... that's just lowering their guard...

trigger warning!?!? also, hi bailu!

hmm...

okay....

you didn't even let me scroll down--

but now it's a SPOOKY sneak-off!

she's very! uh, idk! very spooky mhmm!

oh! okay then!! let's fine her!

the one where we get all of our facts!!!

oh. I liked ghastly gravy more...

oh. well, uh, I'm just gonna call it ghastly gravy frmo now on smh...

I am going to stab you.

yes!! smh if she wasn't in the body of a child....

no he didn't!! smh

HAHAH YEAHHH SUCKERRR

correction: you ARE going to assist us.

hahaha noooooooooooooooooob

uhhhhhhh sure, weirdo.

you aren't worth the general's time.

sIIIGHHH

wait

can we bring fu xuan?

game crashed....

y'know

genshin never has this problem

smh....

hey! i've never listened through topaz's lines lol

that's himeko!!

pffffft

hi yanqing!!

WANNA SEE SOME SWORD SWALLOWING??

pfft yeah lol, it's almost as if we're some video game's protaganists

FPFPPTT NOOO THE SWORD SWALLOWING

MISS!!!!! AAAA

UH
YES?!?!??
VERY UNFAIR
WHY AREN'T WE APPLYING THE SAME LOGIC TO DAN HENG, THEN???

STUPID AS OMG

mhm! say hi, jing yuan!

ARE YOU LAUGHING OR CRYING???

he's.. probably dead? or retired! anyways wanna square up bestie

yeah!! again, you are NOT worth his time.

he! is! very much not the same person!!!

HAHAHHAA

WE DON'T WANT CIRRUS WE WANT UHHH I FORGOT THE BIG HELIOBUS' NAME LOL

PFFT THEY'RE SUCH A SPOILT BRAT

ignamar! yes, that was their name!

yeah NOOB!!

...

bro.

why you gotta make this so difficult

sighhhhhhhhh

TIME FOR THE MASTERSTROKE!!

yeah!! can you wait, like, ten minutes??

um

uh

do you wanna

you wanna go or..?

WHAT??

wait why is it 6x8

why can't it be 8x8

oh. cuz it's not real chess.

oh! okay!

WHUH?? WHERE DID SHE COME FRM??

depleting toughness?? I WANNA WEAKNESS BREAK THEM WITH GUINAIFEN THOUGH SIGHHH

okay uh WHAT

hello hanya! allow me to read your talents

WHAT.

THAT IS SO OP

WHAT??

WHY

WHY
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THING-

hahaha noob

why are we even still talking to this person

I love aurum(aton) alley!

heliobi afoot...

bail2s!

GGHOOOOOOSTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

oh! interesting!

"i'm bACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN--"
-Dr Ivo Robotnic

WE"RE NOT EVEN THAT OLD???

that's.. that's not how reverse psychology works but OKAY!!!

exactly!!

yeah I am, uh, I am not a grown-up!

h

huohuo

they're not

de-aging me

aaand the game crashed JUST AS I WAS STARTING TO ENJOY THE STORY

uh... well, not YOU...

well yeah! that's cuz this was the event's tutorial mission!

yep! mhmmM!!!

hehe yeah lol

CAN I WRITE
ANYTHING I WANT??

I.. I don't get to write..?

I.. I couldn't write anytihng...

Emeet! lol

sgihhh shangshanggg

LOOKA T THATOSE COMMENTS OMG

NOOO I TOOK THE PHOTO TOO LATE AGGHHH

kay..

GUINAIFEN IS SO ME

I LOVE HER

GHGHG????

HI SUSHANG

BRO! TURN ME LOOSE!! JUST LET ME READ ALL THE STUFF HERE

LIL GUI'S #1 SIMP??
HUH??
WAHT???
WAHTAWHTWH
WHAHA

I CAN'T HANDLE THIS MODERN LINGO-    

WE CAN REPLY TO STUFF???
WHAAAT

OMG YOU CAN LIKE POSTS??

HUOHUO???

qingque? ehhh probably not...

YANQING???

yeah!! can I ACTUALLY play chess??

wh. SO IT'S NOT REAL CHESS??

yeah smh

THIS IS NOT CHESS

yk what I'll be nice fineee

NEW COMMENTS!!!!

is that fu xuan?

WHHUH!??!?/

silver play button???

WHWHUAH???
FU XUAN?? QINGQUE????
OMG WHAAAT
THIS IS SO COOL DJSDOAIJOIWJOIWWWA

maybe ultimate swordmaster IS yanqing??

mhm!!

this is SO MESSED UP.

this is caiyi, right?

yukong ain't possessed she's just depressed

because

they're

TORMENTING HER

WITH CAIYI
SMH

hi

oh.

I take it back..?

I thought it was caiyi...

soooooo

oohh... okay then...

oh nevermind I WAS SO RIGHT Y'ALL

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

comments~!

game crashed! but we're on to act 2 anyways, so I'll end th epost here.

that was fun!

modern lingo is scary...

~Moon